Transformers (and HPWI)

Saw Transformers tonight, and it passed the subterranean bar of my expectations.  The highlights: surprisingly good cameos, someone actually says "Kill them all," some fun action, quasi-recognizable Transformers.  The lowlights: even given the premise, science was ignored; writing/directing/acting (as usual), the rest of the Transformers, the attempts to make it seem significant or emotional.  The story actually is worse than the first two, but individual scenes are definitely better than the second.  It will be exactly what you expect, whatever you expect.

Harry Potter What-If #3:

What If the Ford Anglia had something better to do (pretty much anything) than rush into Spider Grove and save Harry and Ron?  Harry and Ron become tasty spider treats, and OldTom sacrifices Ginny to corporealize (bad year for the Weasleys!).  I think OldTom would polish off Voldemort and his horcruxes.  Would Neville become the new Chosen One?  Maybe, but OldTom's the kind of up-and-comer who would finish what he started.

Harry Potter What-If #2

Sorry - no bigger blog post, but I wanted to keep my microseries going.

What If Snape had actually tried to protect the Sorcerer's Stone instead of writing a word problem, and put poison in all seven vials?  Hermione's dead, victim of her own faith in the educational system.  Harry is stuck in the room or dead if he tries another vial, but ... Quirrell/Voldemort probably keep trying to decipher the Mirror of Erised until Dumbledore returns, and that could give Dumbledore the chance to capture/destroy Voldemort at his leisure.  If Harry survives, he becomes just a rule-breaking know-it-all with no Impending Doom excuses for his misbehavior, and probably ends up the attendant on the Knight Bus, telling everyone that he's just waiting for his Prophecy to come true.

Bad Teacher, Worse Movie

You might think I do nothing for you, but I am about to save you time.  Bad Teacher looks funny - Jason Segel and Justin Timberlake can be hilarious.  But Cameron Diaz' black hole of unfunny expands to cover Timberlake, and Segel only has a few good lines.  It's the script that's terrible - someone thought teacher stereotypes would be funny (and in fairness, I know teachers like each of them), and forgot that a story involves a plot, or meaningful character growth/shifts - think second half of Office Space.  Avoid like the plague.  If you're desperate for movie theater air conditioning, go with X-Men or a few great independent movies like Submarine or Beginners (or Win Win if you can find it - Paul Giamatti is awesome).

An important event is coming up on July 15 as the last Harry Potter movie spells the end of my midnight movie career (except both Hobbit movies, and any future Potter movies now that J.K. Rowling is writing more books ... OK, not so much an end).  I'm rereading all 7 books, and would like to try a miniseries on the blog, so here goes:

Harry Potter What-If #1

What If anyone in the world remembered the Time-Turner existed?  Good guys win, unless Voldemort can make one too, in which case it becomes a chicken race of who will go back farther in time to shift events their way.  I await the fan-fiction entries.

12 Decadal Highlights: Part 5

Click here for Part 1 and the explanation.

#1: Met A Girl

Fell in love.  Got married.  Five years later I'm still the luckiest man in the world.  I love you Laura!

Happy New Year everyone!

12 Decadal Highlights: Part 4

Click here for Part 1 and the explanation.

#3: So Much Work

I'm not sure if I'm proud of this, but I've worked for 9 different employers in the decade, including specific projects for at least 11 major clients.  See if you can guess which ones weren't part of the career plan (some left anonymous due to confidentiality or forgetting):

Enform/Sungard

annuity agency

Round Rock Independent School District

Digital Motorworks/ADP

PerformanceRetail

Coremetrics

marketing agency

AlterPoint

S3

#2: Back To School

Sadly no grad school, but I took UT night courses for credit in WWII history and Civil Liberties.  WWII included about a dozen films and only three books - I'd rather have had them flipped, but apparently most non-standard students don't feel that way (probably not standard students, either).  Civil Liberties was exactly the kind of class I wanted - roundtable discussions each week, and flexibility (almost too much) in writing assignments.  I've taken a short break from formal classes, but anticipate returning soon.

TOMORROW: What's #1?  Filing my first auto insurance claim?  Nope.  Having USAA insurance?  Closer...

12 Decadal Highlights: Part 3

Click here for Part 1 and the explanation.

#6: Hawaii

I left Hawaii on July 26, 1985, and finally returned in November 2003.  I had a week to explore old haunts, see friends again, and remember that the state hates me.  Not the government - just the state.  First it conspired with Minnesota to give me an ear infection on the flight there, meaning I had to avoid putting my head underwater.  No problem - who wants to bother with the beaches when you're in Hawaii?  Then our car got towed at the surfing competition, leading to a 2-hour search through ... um, interesting neighborhoods and several Hauli*-unfriendly people.  On the plus side, I visited the library of the Mid-Pacific Institute and remembered a musty basement smell I strongly associate with books.  Rereading that sentence, it might sound like I'm being sarcastic, but it was a truly wonderful experience.

#5: Stayed In Place

It's the first decade I stayed in one city (yes, I'm counting Pflugerville as staying in Austin).  Relationships are stronger, and I had to pack far less times than in the 90s.  The 80s only had one move, but it was across half an ocean and half a continent.  From this steady base of operations, I did visit several places for the first time: Seattle, Tulsa, Indianapolis, Vancouver, Gainesville, Banff, Disneyworld.  (I went near San Francisco for work, but I don't think I can claim it until I visit the Golden Gate bridge.)

#4: Real Estate

I bought a townhouse in 2003, when everyone said to invest in real estate because it "only goes up."  That hasn't held true so much, but in fairness, the condo did appreciate 24% in 4 years before we bought the house.  Owning a house has frequently made me appreciate renting, but I do enjoy having a place that is mine (and/or Laura's).

TOMORROW: School or work?  I reject the tyranny of the or!

*Native Hawaiian slang for Caucasians.

12 Decadal Highlights: Part 2

Click here for Part 1 and the explanation.

#9: Exercise

Not that I didn't exercise before this decade, but this was the first time I made sustained efforts simply to exercise, even if none of them stuck.  My motivation to get to the fitness center before 6AM in 2003 was to set the TV to Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns before the FoxNews/CNN guys showed up - maybe a little silly, but it worked as well as anything.  I did more walking, biking, racquetball, weightlifting, and basketball (at various times) than I'd ever done before.  Speaking of which...

#8: Played for an undefeated team

In the spring of 2005, I played in a church league on a team of 5 leftover players.  Fortunately two of them had played junior college ball, and the other two were far better than I was.  We went undefeated (including some great overtime games when we had no substitutes) all the way through a 10-game regular season and 4 playoff games.  I was unquestionably the fifth-best of five, but my presence kept us from forfeiting a few games, and I contributed more than that on some nights - you know it's a fun team to play on when the double teams leave the tallest guy open. :-)  But my favorite undefeated team was...

#7: 2005 National Champion UT Longhorns

If your team's ever won a title, you know what I mean.  The rest of my viewing party gave up at 6 minutes to go down 12, but I had faith (although the kind that left me nervous enough to pace the rest of the game).  We drove down by campus afterwards to briefly join the celebration and the feeling was just amazing.  USC's hype and Vince's historic magnificence enhanced the experience incredibly (and made sure it will always repeat on ESPN Classic!).

TOMORROW: So many places, so little time.